Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
dude. I can hear the air.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
