Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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