omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
