i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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