so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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