garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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