She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
