it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
