Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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