This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
