It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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