i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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