hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
