I have demons in me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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