he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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