just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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