haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize