Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
