it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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