I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
