??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Randomize