What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
