I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize