Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
