she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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