Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think I am morally bankrupt
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
