yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
