Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
