The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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