You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
