He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I need moral support for this bender
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
