It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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