So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
