When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
