He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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