so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
