Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize