i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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