My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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