He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
