We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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