I'm so fucking centered right now
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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