mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize