I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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