You're my little dorito
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
