How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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