we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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