Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
