He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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