Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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