What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Me too!
My liver just broke up with me...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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