we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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