Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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