how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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