i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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