Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
