Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
