idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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