dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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