Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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