Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I came so hard my ears popped.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
