Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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