So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
