The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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