Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Too much gin, very little bucket
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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